perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
