Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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