I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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