i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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