I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
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no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.