Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

I'm pants shitting drunk right now

Fav 4 1169 1185
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

THAT'LL be a good time.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.

Fav 18 3759 889
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.

Fav 6 4830 1882
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

Fav 11 4416 1299
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me

Fav 8 4611 1300
share tweet
(618): View more from Illinois

My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.

Fav 13 4057 1311
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(765): View more from Indiana

he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.

Fav 9 3549 1640
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.

Fav 0 456 303
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(469): View more from Texas

How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.

Fav 0 31 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT