Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.

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(614): View more from Ohio

you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes

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(910): View more from North Carolina

This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(520): View more from Arizona

He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.

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(707): View more from California

It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.

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(804): View more from Virginia

But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed

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(478): View more from Georgia

Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.

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