he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize