does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours