it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize