i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.