I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.