nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
