so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Found your dick twin last night
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
