I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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