You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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