their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
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I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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