dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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