What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
