shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize