Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
