i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
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I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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