so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
