So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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