im six kinds of drunk right now
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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