I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize