ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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