I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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