He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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