why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
