the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it's like heaven, but drunker
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
