Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
