Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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