two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
