No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
