i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
