I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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