Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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