honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
