VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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