She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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