So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Did I show you my penis last night?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
