Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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