going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize