i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
