allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
