Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
