brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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