i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
