We won't sleep together?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
