At least make sure they are 18
Why
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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