Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
