Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
