Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i think i just lost a toe
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
