If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
A+ Viking dick
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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