Dual....:-)
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
