Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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