do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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