Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
