She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize